The Hybrid Mom

When I become a mom eleven months ago, I had no idea how many expectations people have of you being either "this kind of mom" or "that kind of mom".  My realization...it's very black and white in the mommy world.
  A lot of the expectations of what I thought I would do as a mother are completely different. I thought I'd be that green mom totally into cloth diapers. After having to watch several videos (really, really I need to watch a video to figure out how to do this??!?!), I decided I could use some of the more environmentally friendly diapers and leave the wet bags and poop dumps to the more adventurous moms. I never thought I would nurse my son past three months, but here I am still nursing at eleven. Thought I would make my own food and I do, but I also buy the pouches and the jars. I think when you say "I will only do this" you are setting yourself up. I try to be that hybrid mom. I nurse but I also give my son bottles of formula when needed. And guess what, the world doesn't go off its axis when I do.
 What I am finding surprising is all the "judginess" out there about the choices you make as a mom. I worked for 25 years and am now a stay at home mom or as all the moms groups give it the acronym SAHM. (and yes at first I had to look up what the hell SAHM was). I am always amazed at how many mothers look at you like, "you stay a home"?!!? What do you do all day?" You're kidding me right? I have had multiple women try to get me to do a home based business, because after all, as a SAHM I must be lonely, sad, bored, desperate to have a "secret shoe/dress/handbag fund" (that must be in the script because no matter what business someone has tried to get me to join, it's to help out my "secret shoe fund". Which, by the way, I don't have.) Not really sure why all these people care, where were you people when I was single and lived alone?!?! Would've saved me a lot of pints of ice cream and going out and spending money on cocktails in clubs if so many people were interested in my life!
 The breastfeeding vs. formula crowd is really contentious. I am just doing what I need to do and I really wish that everyone (and seriously, it's everyone) wouldn't try to debate me on this. Both sides seem to be adamant that they are right....how shocking it must be that I DO BOTH. Something MUST BE WRONG WITH ME! Studies have shown that when a child is five, he/she is not contemplating how his mother fed him and how it affects his/her everyday life.
 Not sure why there is this constant need to define. Why can't we just be a parent or a mom? You have to be "for" or "against" something...attachment parenting, baby wearing, organic feeding, sleep training, etc.
  I think we are all just doing the best we can. We can read all the blogs, magazine articles, forum posts and immerse ourselves in group classes we want, but ultimately you have to just be you and do what works in your life. Maybe because I am an older mom (pregnant at 43 with that "late in life baby" as they used to call it when I was born), but I reached the B---S--- saturation point a long time ago. I love being a mom to my BabyGuy and I just don't really care what other people think of me at this point. And believe me, a lot of people think being a mother of an almost one year old at 45 years old is nuts. Luckily I don't listen to the noise and drama. I really just focus on being the "hybrid mom" (since we need to define) and I pick and choose from the parenting buffet. I may share the things I am doing with you if you ask, but I certainly hope you won't try to push your agenda on me and I won't push mine on you. Life is full of people of varied personalities and I am so glad people have different points of view, so let's let them have theirs and not judge. Variety is the spice of life.

“Confidence... thrives on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection and on unselfish performance. Without them it cannot live.”― Franklin D. Roosevelt