"Today was one of those days. Teething baby up all night so he woke up a crabby toddler, very clingy, very sad for being so tired. We didn't get to go to a play date. We didn't get to leave the house. But we did get to cuddle, which I hear is a commodity that dries up sooner than you think. We got to laugh a lot and play with some of the favorite toys, read the favorite books. We did what it took to make us both feel better. The day didn't go according to plans. But that is usually the day I know the little fella needs me the most."
This was my Facebook post a couple weeks ago.
Does this sound like you? More often than not, it happens. You don't have it all working well. Nothing goes right. You are NOT in control. The pieces don't all fit and everything does not get done. But guess what mamas, it's ok. This constant striving to keep it all together can be exhausting. Taking these moments and turning them into mama gold is the challenge. When you can't get out of your own way, stay home. I don't believe in being that mama who is telling her wee one to "hurry up". I remind myself in these situations that we are not performing brain surgery. No one's life is on the line if we don't show up to that play date, class or other engagement because the day isn't working. Sometimes you know it by 7am. Other days it creeps in on you all day long in series of falling dominoes of everyday life with a baby, toddler or preschooler. Those are the days you realize too late that you should've thrown the towel in. Quitting is not for losers, quitting sometimes is for those who realize it's not working, it'll get worse, and our little ones can't always vocalize their feelings in time.
If we are feeling overwhelmed, imagine how much worse it is for our child when things are flopping. It can be the time where you turn around, take them out of the car seat, go back into the house and take a stack of books and sit quietly to read with your child. Or where you take the detour from where you were supposed to go and do something different like swing on a swing in a quiet park. You step away from the art project that is not going well or that your child is just not feeling. Or maybe just give hugs, lots and lots of hugs to our little one. The modern culture is full of people suffering anxiety. I think there's so much pressure of failing or not living up to expectations put onto us and our children. They learn from us at a young age that things "have to get done", "we have to succeed" "we need to go NOW!"
What we don't teach our kids or remind ourselves, is that a failure is a learning opportunity and that when things don't work, be ok with a Plan B or Plan C. Instead of rushing into that doctor/dentist/haircut appointment late, call and cancel and regroup. No one will be crushed if you do so. You might just save the day by turning back and holding your little one's hand and saying "let's slow down" instead of screaming "hurry up!" We're not always going to be in this season of our lives and things will evolve. It's ok mamas, we got this.
“Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.”
-CS Lewis
